Custody   Children are the objects of more Courtroom arguments than anything in my experience.  I am constantly dealing with issues involving CUSTODY AND VISITATION in the cases I handle.  Parents argue about how much time each of them spends with the child, when they spend that time with the child and do their exchanges for the other parent to spend time; where they meet to exchange the child; where the child will go to school, how will they go about claiming the child or children as dependents on their respective tax returns, how they will get the child to and from extracurricular activities and who will bear how much of the costs of those activities.  Despite the fact that the parents are not together raising the children as a family often because they are not able to reach agreements about how to raise their children, the Oklahoma Courts cram joint custody at parents and seek to enforce them to get along in the decision-making process and raising of their children.  While this is fair and in a child's best interest if it works, it is not necessarily practical.     Married or unmarried, a mother and father each have a right to visitation and possibly custody of their child.  If unmarried, a father needs to file a civil paternity action to enforce that right.  He will not be able to simply show up at a Department of Human Services' Child Support Division hearing and discuss his visitation.  Unless parents reach unwritten agreements regarding such matters, their contact with their children is determined by an Order in the District Court which has jurisdiction over them and their child or children.  That Order may happen based on an agreement; or, if not, then by the decision of a Judge.   Whatever your particular situation, I have had many experiences helping natural parents and discover, seek and enforce their rights as parents.  I have seen some Judges favor fathers having custody more than others while most, despite a statute that says that a parent’s gender is not to be considered when determining custody, still tend to favor mothers simply because they are in most cases the "primary caregiver" of a child and have spent more time with the actual one-on-one raising of that child.  Many Courts, where parents live reasonably close to one another and are unable to reach a decision and seem to both be good, decent people, will simply split the child in half, school-age or not, residing with one parent one week and the other parent the next.  Some Courts stick to the old standard where one parent gets primary custody and the other gets alternating weekends.  It depends on what Judge decides your case and the evidence that comes before that Judge as to the parties' particular situation.  Most of the time, of course, the outcome of custody and visitation issues occurs based on agreements of the parties.  Perhaps initially, both sides want to fight and go to trial, but for fear of being handed down a Court Order that awards them with less or because they run out of emotional energy and funds to continue to fight, most cases end up settling.  Broken families are unique, and I have prepared many unique and original Orders that best fit the situation of a mother and father no longer living together and a children being divided between the two of them.   I have helped several clients with their custody and visitation issues.  Some come in with their spouses simply wanting me to prepare an agreed joint custody plan and decree to which they have already agreed but want to make sure that its terms are fair and that it is accurately prepared.  Others come in hot and angry, just following an argument with the other parent, ready to fight to the bitter end for full custody of their children (and after a speech explaining them their prospects of success and how I feel the Court would see their situation, considering the best interests of their children, I will do that for them if they pay me to do so).   Agreed or not agreed, married or out-of-wedlock, mother or father - dealing with issues involving children is my job, and I will represent you and fight for you if you and I mutually agree that I should represent you.  Contact me, JOEL K. MITCHELL, Attorney-at-Law.   jkm@oklahomadivorceattorney.com or (918) 371-1896